crowe lee deehan delap sodje (by keane)

this is possibly one of the funniest things i've ever heard in my life.

it featured on the 606 football phone in with danny baker on bbc radio 5live a few weeks back. basically a guy called "teletext alex" has replaced all the words to "bohemian rhapsody" by queen with the names of footballers. the song is therefore now called "crowe lee deehan delap sodje" by keane.

i will say no more, just watch and listen.



to follow teletext alex's new lyrics click here.

no news? if only

happy april fools day

wicket keeper with 10 broken fingers

in 45 years time i hope my hands don't end up looking like this guy's!

david morrison has kept wicket for his local village team, barton cc in north yorkshire, for almost half a century and has managed to break all his fingers and both thumbs.

in his younger days (when he wore only thin chamois gloves for protection) he was reluctant to seek medical attention for fear of losing his place so it was on with the frozen peas for a few minutes then back out on the field.

now, at the age of 62, he's still in the wars. last weekend he picked up both a darlington and district league championship medal and a black eye when a 16-year old leg spinner caught him unawares.

they certainly don't make'm like that anymore!

did you know...(#5)

...the fear of long words is called hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia.

when does a courgette become a marrow?

just before we got hitched and went away on honeymoon, i popped down to our slightly neglected allotment to check it over before abandoning it for a few weeks. imagine my surprise when i clapped eyes on one of our courgette plants.

now i'm not up to date on the current EU directive on courgette size and when it should be termed a marrow, but this has to be the biggest one i've ever seen (approx 12cm end to end).

unfortunately we were unable to sample it as we hadn't time, so our neighbour was the grateful recipient of it along with a couple of lettuces.

hopefully we'll have something to tuck into soon!

cour(gette) blimy!

as we don't have photographic evidence you're going to have to take our word for this, but we ate our first courgette from the allotment today.

we covered them in egg and flour and fried them quickly in oil, and even if i do say so myself they were delicious.

we promise to take a picture of the next one as proof.

yum yum!!

brilliant prank, with a very clever message

this stunt was reported by reuters and published in the 7th july 2007 issue of new scientist.
It was pulled by a group of political activists called the yes men who describe their work as "exposing, perhaps deviously, the nastiness of powerful evildoers" by taking part in "identity correction".

basically, two guys from the yes men posed as representatives from ExxonMobil and the U.S. National Petroleum Council, at the Gas and Oil Exposition – aka GO-EXPO 2007 – in Calgary.

they had a keynote speech on the programme and promptly proceeded to reveal a new fuel called "vivoleum" which was "to be used in the event of a global climate calamity and made by transforming the billions of people who die into oil.”

sounds a little sick i know but it could be a valuable option in the event of a nuclear holocaust or similar catastrophe - well here comes the clever bit of their prank.

one of the the yes men, “Shepard Wolff” (aka Andy Bichlbaum) began to explain the process of turning living beings into fuel using 3-d animations and powerpoint slides. he stated “we need something like whales, but infinitely more abundant.”

now here's the very clever bit:

“vivoleum works in perfect synergy with the continued expansion of fossil fuel production,” noted the supposed Exxon rep “Florian Osenberg” (aka Mike Bonanno, another member of the yes men). “with more fossil fuels comes a greater chance of disaster, but that means more feedstock for vivoleum. fuel will continue to flow for those of us left.”

i just love the smell of irony in the morning, smells like victory!

ps. read about the rest of the prank at reuters, including how they gave delegates at the conference a candle made from the "by-products" of the production of vivoleum.

2nd out of 1!

this story made us chuckle...

Woman runner-up in one-horse race

A grandmother won second prize in a cake-baking contest at a fete, only to discover she was the only entrant.

Jenny Brown, 62, entered her Victoria Sponge into the competition and was initially pleased to have come second.

But she was left shocked when a friend revealed to her that she was the only person to take part.

Ms Brown said: "My friend came over to me at the fete and said I had come second.

"I asked her how many more entries there had been, but she just started laughing and said I was the only one.

"I definitely wasn't annoyed about it."

Although the cake was not deemed fit to win the competition, Ms Brown said it was soon polished off with no complaints.

Julie Dent, from the Wimblington Sports Committee, said: "The judges had an expectation and I suppose they didn't feel as though it qualified for first place.

"This was the first year but the cake competition will become an annual event."

She said her own baking was subject to another strange decision.

"About 11 years ago I entered a show with some fruit scones. I was the only entrant but I came third."

better luck next year Jenny!

did you know...(#4)

seb coe is partialy colour blind?

might have something to do with the 2012 logo then!

did you know...? (#3)

...that ipswich used to have an underground railway network?

i know its hard to believe (and i'm not sure i do yet) but apparently its true.

there's even a website about it. have a look and decide for yourself.

---UPDATE--- its an april fool from earlier in the year! i'll admit it had me going for a minute but the stuff about Stalinist sympathisers started some alarm bells ringing.